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Tips For Online Dating Safety

AltDesire offers a fun and secure environment to meet other like minded adults. Itís also a great place to build loving and trusting friendships that can lead to lasting, offline relationships. Whether you decide to correspond online or meet members offline, please use sound judgement and be responsible for your conduct. In both the virtual and real worlds, common sense is your best safety tool.

1. Start slow
Watch out for someone who seems too good to be true. Begin by communicating solely via email, and watch out for any odd behaviour or inconsistencies. The person at the other end may not be who or what he or she says. If anything makes you uncomfortable, check it out.

2. Be anonymous
All correspondence between alt-desire.com members takes place through our anonymous email system, ensuring your true identity is protected until you decide to reveal it. It is recommended that you stop communicating with anyone who pressures you for personal information or attempts in any way to trick you into revealing it.

3. Be Cautious
Guard against trusting the suspicious; suitors must earn your trust gradually, through consistently forthright behaviour. If you suspect someone is lying, donít be shy to ask probing questions. Be responsible about romance, and donít fall in love at the click of a mouse. Donít become prematurely intimate with someone, online intimacy can easily turn into off-line premature romance. Be smart and protect yourself.

4. Request a photo
A photo will give you a good idea of the person's appearance, which may prove helpful in achieving a gut feeling. If all you hear are excuses about why you can't see a photo, then consider if this is consistent with your expectations.

5. Chat on the phone
A phone call can reveal much about a personís communication and social skills. Consider your security and remember that you can use local telephone blocking techniques to prevent your phone number from appearing in Caller ID.

6. Meet when YOU are ready
The beauty of meeting and relating online is that you can collect information gradually, later choosing whether to pursue the relationship in the offline world. If you decide to arrange a meeting, you always have the right to change your mind. Trust yourself. Go with your instincts.

7. Watch for Odd behaviours.
Pay attention to displays of anger, intense frustration or attempts to pressure or control you. Acting in a passive-aggressive manner, making demeaning or disrespectful comments or any physically inappropriate behaviour are all red flags. You should be concerned if your date exhibits any of the following behaviour without providing an acceptable explanation:
  • Provides inconsistent information about age, interests, appearance, marital status, profession, employment, etc.
  • Refuses to speak to you on the phone after establishing ongoing, online intimacy.
  • Fails to provide direct answers to direct questions.
  • Appears significantly different in person from his or her online persona.
8. Meet in a safe place
When you choose to meet offline, always tell a friend where you are going and when you will return. If possible, take a friend with you. A genuine person will not object to meeting your friends. Leave your dateís name and telephone number with your friend or family member. Never arrange for your date to pick you up at home or any where else. Provide your own transportation, meet in a public place at a time with many people around, and when the date is over, leave on your own as well. A familiar restaurant or coffee shop, at a time when a lot of other people will be present, is often a fine choice. If you decide to move to another location, take your own car. When the timing is appropriate, thank your date for getting together and say goodbye.

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